"A child that does not travel praises its mother as being the best cook. " - Bemba proverb

I call bullshit.

Yesterday I ate so much cheese I might never shit again.

Save the pot of coffee I'm presently drinking, everything in my life contributes to an overall feeling of blockage like so much fat around my heart. A rolling stone may gather no moss, but it certainly picks up cholesterol.

++Each week, Protest the Hero's Tim Millar (guitars/vocals) and Arif Mirabdolbaghi (bass /vocals/lyrics) will be offering dispatches from the road. Check back next week for more random information!++

Jack Passion: 23-year-old Natural Beard Champ 2007

Beards have played a big role in music, from Brahms to ZZ Top to Kerry King. Here, I pass on to you my Beard Etiquette 101 teachings for the bearded and the beard admirers.

Being part of the beard community for about the last 2 years, I've learned and experienced a lot. It's funny how not shaving for a little while brings you into an unspoken gentleman's club, where men with beards see you as a peer; you have common ground, and men (or boys) who can't or haven't yet grown a beard look up to you.

After having been asked many questions about my beard and having talked to other beard growers, I've learned some basic beard etiquette. Here, I pass on to you my Beard Etiquette 101 teachings for the bearded and the beard admirers.

Beard Hierarchy: If someone has a bigger beard then you, they are allowed to talk down to you, should they choose to. Since they have more growth than you, they are superior to you and you should know your place. You can talk about beards with them, but should approach the subject with caution. Most bearded fellows like to talk about their beards but that shouldn't be the first topic of discussion.

Let It Flow: Moustaches look great when styled, but beards are meant to be left alone. Braiding only makes your beard look shorter than it is. Some beardos can get away with the part but it should be saved for special occasions. Most of us don't have enough of a beard to properly style it, so it's best to just let it flow.