It's every kid's dream to play the Vans Warped Tour, and now that I'm on the tour, I can confidently say it lives up to its reputation as one of the best summer tours in North America. However ...

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It's hot. Really fucking hot. Hotter than Kate Beckinsale licking her lips and going down on me.

Warped Tour. A sweaty, drunken, party machine that travels across America with some music thrown in for good measure. We are on every date of this year's Warped Tour, and so far, it's been great. Lots of women, lots of booze, lots of fans and friends and just an all-around good time.

It's every kid's dream to play the Vans Warped Tour, and now that I'm on the tour, I can confidently say it lives up to its reputation as one of the best summer tours in North America. However, the toilet situation is shitty, literally. The porta-potties are disgraceful. Filled to the brim with other peoples' shit, piss, puke and any other disturbing images that may pop in to your head.

All sat there, slowly marinading in the filth of the last person to evacuate their bowels, and cooking, almost to the boiling point, in the summer sun.

Delicious. I might save it and make some soup for dinner.

No worse than what fast-food places put in their burgers, I'm sure. I'll keep you all up to date on all the best parts of Warped Tour.

Cheers, everyone.

Ben Bruce plays guitar in Asking Alexandria.

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