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• Cerebral Upheaval: As Blood Runs Black Guitarist Dan Sugarman on Optimizing Your Practice Time, Part 1
• As Blood Runs Black Guitarist Dan Sugarman on Optimizing Your Practice Time, Part 2

Hello, friend, and welcome back to your Cerebral Upheaval. I am your host, Dan Sugarman.

Today we are going to take a look at one band's life on the road, through the eyes of an idiot. The name of the specimen we will be observing this journey through will not be mentioned, but what I can tell you is this: He looks a lot like me. No relation. That being said, let us begin.

Alright, that's enough role play for one day. Hopefully that won't happen again ... but I’m not going to promise anything.

I would like to start off my third column by thanking everyone for all of the awesome e-mails and positive feedback I have been receiving on my two previous Guitar World columns -- Optimizing your Practice Time Part I & Part II. I encourage you to let me know what you thought of them as well, if you feel so inclined. Contact me at dansugarman12@gmail.com if you have any questions or comments, have lesson inquiries, if you just want to talk shop, or just want to tell me what’s on your mind. Lines are open, so to speak.

The e-mails I have received thus far have been all the proof that I need to show me that my previous Guitar World columns can truly help you make progress as a musician and a guitarist. Improvements and growth can be made without me even being in the same room as you, it seems. It's an immense feeling to know that these columns are working, and this is just the beginning for the two of us.

I really do believe that this is an amazing opportunity for both you and I to grow, so I encourage you to communicate and be interactive with me.

I'd also like to apologize for the lack of columns or updates recently. I have no excuse for not doing them ... just reasons haha. But needless to say, I am sorry. Next time I will put more effort into letting you know when I have a tour coming up, which should give you the clue that I may be absent for a brief period of time. So keep those eyes peeled, alright? Thank you.

Just the other day, I arrived at my house in Los Angeles at around 5 a.m. Completing The Summer Slaughter Tour 2011 was one of the most difficult things we have ever done as a band and that I have ever done personally. To say I'm pretty beat right now as I write this column would be an understatement. Luckily I love writing these, so in all honesty it shouldn't be that hard to pull off. But due to mental and physical fatigue, please bear with me.

In reality, it's just another day and another city for me. This just happens to be the city where I stay for a few months out of the year.

Anyways, for my third column, I've decided to write about what it's like being a touring musician in an internationally traveling band. I'm going to do my best to remove the veil that has been masking what touring is really like, as well as expose to you how truly gritty and grimey being a touring musician can really be.

Enough! Let's kick this off...

What comes to mind first when you think of touring? What do you think that being a touring musician in a traveling band is really like? Let me give you some clues as to what life is really like on the road, through my eyes.

Disclaimer: Performing and writing music is my passion. Touring is my job. I am not a cynical person. I am not jaded, and I would not be doing this to myself if I didn't love touring with all of my heart. The fact of the matter is that touring is one of the most stressful, grueling and challenging things one could put themselves through. If I didn't truly feel at home when on the road, then I wouldn't subject myself and my LIFE to this on a consistent basis. This IS my life, my view, experience, and my story on being a touring musician.

The format of this column will be brief journal segments as well as commentary on my journey through The Summer Slaughter Tour 2011, as well as the past year touring internationally with As Blood Runs Black. Enjoy.

Chapter 1: I Live in a Van ... Down by the River!

How would you feel if you were taken out of your comfort zone completely for weeks -- or even months -- on end? How about not showering for more than five days and living in a rolling box with five other dudes who are equally as smelly as you, if not worse? How about living off of fast food and gas station snacks? Sleeping on a van bench and calling said van your "home"? How about emptying your bowels in a bathroom straight out of a horror film -- daily? Disgusting, yes. Too much information? I know. Little do you know that dumping is a major priority and discussion topic of each and every day in almost every single touring band. There is definitely something to be said about that. More on that later, though.

And how would you feel about being on call at all hours of the day and night? Being on the clock 24/7? Dealing with 115 degree heat and 100 percent humidity, followed by tornado warnings? Snow, black ice, hail and torrential rain? Flying through multiple time zones and then immediately playing in front of thousands only to pretend that you're awake and excited to be onstage? I could think of worse things, but that shit is difficult to pull off no matter who you are.

What about being hassled by border patrol officers every time they see you just because you're in a band? How about being stalled by airport security and being forced to miss your connecting flight home from Europe after you've already spent more than 20-plus hours traveling and waiting around during layovers?

That was a lot of questions, I know. But my point is this: TOURING IS HARD.

It takes every last bit of mental and physical energy you have to make it through a tour. We've lost band members, crew members, had fights, and even had non-stop laughter due to deliriousness and the ridiculousness of life on the road. Sometimes though, all you can do is laugh at the situations at hand and make the best of a shitty day, because chances are that there will be equally as many bad days as there are good days. Know that. Accept it. Embrace it. Live it.

Being on tour is like being everywhere and nowhere at the same time. When people ask me where I've been and what I've been up to, I often see looks of jealousy on their face. It makes me laugh, honestly, because they really don't even know the half of it.

Don't get me wrong, though! I am ecstatic to be doing what I'm doing and I love my life, but I have to explain to them that touring is not all that it's hyped up to be. At this level, nothing is glamorous. Even at the highest levels of touring, bands have to live day to day and deal with some truly messed up stuff.

It is simply the way of the road, and there is nothing to be done about it. No matter how much you've prepared for touring, how many crew members you have, or how much money you make every night, issues like these will arise -- NO MATTER WHAT!

You must always be the better man/woman in every single situation, or else the road will chew your ass up and spit you out. That way, you can overcome whatever obstacle that is in your way, hop back in that van or bus that you are cruising around in and then do it all again somewhere else tomorrow.

Sure, I've been to X-City, but did I really experience the people and their culture to the fullest? Hell no.

What I HAVE done though is spend copious amounts of time in parking lots all over the world. I've been to almost every McDonald's and fast-food joint ever (I highly doubt that, but it sounded good, right?) to refuel my belly with their processed delicacies in the familiar and lovable shape of a chicken nugget or a round piece of meat between two buns.

I must also say that McDonald's has some of the best restroom facilities across the nation ... not only does Ronald make great imitation meat pucks, but he’s also a great janitor!

I have also been to more gas stations then you would ever hope toimagine. I have seen more corn fields and desert terrain than my brain and my eyes would have ever liked to witness.

But hey, it's all about the sacrifices, right? I love doing this. I knowit doesn't sound like it yet, but believe me: It is my life.

The following is a brief journal entry that I did after the first day of The Summer Slaughter Tour. I did one of these entries almost every time something major happened to us throughout the tour. My intentions behind doing this were to compile all of my entries into one book-type-thing (over the course of many tours) for my own sentimental reasons. But after I got back from this tour, I realized how truly interesting and intense touring could be. I decided right then and there that I needed to come up with some sort of way to express this to you. I wanted to show you how touring can be both punishing and rewarding at the same time, yet always leave you wanting more. This, my friend, is that outlet.

June 22nd, 2011 - Summer Slaughter, Day 1

Today was an amazing day filled with some steep and deep slopes and dips. For one, I have dreamt of being apart of The Summer Slaughter Tour ever since its inception in 2007, and to say that I am here -- now -- doing what I am doing, is an incredible feeling of accomplishment. Meeting all of the bands on this year's Summer Slaughter Tour was an awesome experience, too. I have looked up to some of those bands since I started playing and listening to metal. It was such a humbling experience to finally meet and talk to some of my favorite musicians and find out how mellow and similar to myself they were.The words "flustered" and "excited" don't even come close to how it felt to me. I felt like a little school girl.

This show not only marked our 1-year anniversary with our current lineup, but it was also one of our tightest day-one-of-tour shows that we have ever had. The journey ahead looked bright and the road before us looked smooth, when all of a sudden, driving through the slums of Hollywood, the leaf spring on the right side of our trailer shattered -- devastating if you're trying to actually go somewhere.

We sat waiting, in the grimiest part of Hollywood in a shady parking lot under a busted and flickering light. We sat there in the dark, literally and metaphorically, calling AAA towing services and all of the local towing places in AND out of town. Our efforts proved fruitless. No one was willing to help us tow our piece-o-shit trailer for the life of us.

We decided to risk it all and drive home at 3:30 am with our mangled and dangling axel scraping the highway pavement all the way home.

We were lucky to be close enough to our hometown so that we could get there quickly and safely to repair the trailer early the next morning, otherwise this tour would have been over for us before it had even begun.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that yesterday and today were two of the most stressful days of my life -- as the two preparation days prior to leaving for tour usually are. I take that back. The two days before we leave for tour are hell ...always!

Those two days consist of last minute van and trailer check-ups (whoops!), Guitar Center runs for strings, picks, drums heads etc., last minute rehearsals and set-list changes, making sure that all guitars, amps, and electronics are in working order, as well as packing up all of your shit! Me being a master procrastinator doesn't help my situation out too much either.

TOURING TIP: When packing, keep in mind that you are packing for at least a week and a half or two (as long as doing laundry is a possibility). If laundry isn't an option, which happened to us in Europe, then you should pack for as many days as you can fit into your bag.

Doing so will get rid of that amazing salt-vinegar odor that you get after wearing the same pair of clothes over and over. Salted nuts and moldy clothes versus a heavy bag filled to the brim with fresh clothes? Do what you will. The choice is yours. I choose a heavy bag for prolonged cleanliness.

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