From bank-breaking record advances and extravagant arena tours to non-stop parties and girls dancing on cars, a guitarist's gear in the '80s had to be just as over-the-top as his look, whether he was sporting spandex or a nail-spiked armband.

Effects are like jellybeans. You can’t have just one — and is there really a flavor you don’t like? They’re all good. But since I must, I have to give you a list of the best flavors of effects this year. Keep in mind, if I could, I’d give you a top 20 list of my favorite stomp boxes of 2012, but I’ll limit it to five because I need to hold your attention and honestly, I’d be splitting hairs with some because there were so many good ones to pick from.

Luckily, musicians in search of quality signature gear — from guitars to amps to effects to pickups — don't have to worry about that nonsense. Generally, gear manufacturers work closely with their signature artists, in some cases, right down to the tiniest of details (Some artists repeatedly send back the prototypes until they're perfect).