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GW Who or what was responsible for this dramatic change?

CLAPTON It was primarily due to working with [keyboardist and Pilgrim co-producer] Simon Climie, who was very encouraging and very supportive. I could always rely on him to be an objective sounding board. He gave me confidence, and then once he brought it out there was no stopping me. I could’ve carried on writing, but we’d actually ended up with more than we needed. We went in with virtually nothing, so the great thing was that it evolved and got written as we went along.

GW In the past, you’ve been content to let your guitar do the talking. I get the feeling that, these days, that just isn’t enough for you, that you want to take the same kinds of chances with your songwriting and singing that are usually associated with your playing.

CLAPTON You’re right. I originally set a wide-open boundary on this record, and once I knew that I’d stepped over the time limit, I thought, Now that we’ve taken this chance, we might as well go for broke and just get everything as far out as possible.

I just feel like I’ve become a little more whole in terms of how I see myself as a singer-songwriter- musician. There is a better balance now among the components than there was before. I remember when I thought of singing as the bit that went between the guitar playing—something I couldn’t wait to get out of the way. Singing was originally like a chore that I didn’t really enjoy. Now all of the components are completely integrated, equally important and really dependent on one another. I now enjoy singing as much as the guitar playing, if not more sometimes.

GW And the lyrics, too, I imagine.

CLAPTON Absolutely. The writing, too.

GW This is going to sound a tad pretentious, but would you say that the artist has an obligation to reveal himself—to bare his soul?

CLAPTON I can only speak for myself, but I believe it is my responsibility to do so. But to do so with care, as well.

GW Responsibility to whom? To yourself or to your audience?

CLAPTON To myself, and to the nature of the human race, really. I feel a real need to observe a level of propriety in what I’m handing out. Instead of me just venting or spilling my guts, I’ve got to consider how it’s going to affect people. How it’s going to affect me, as well, because it’s like a cycle.

I’ve kind of learned to embrace that responsibility, and it makes me work harder. Instead of just chucking out the first thing that comes to mind or the first thing I feel, I really examine it much more now and go over it and think about cause and effect.

GW Is the process joyful or painful?

CLAPTON Joyful, but in an odd way. When I first conceived this album, I told anybody who was going to get involved that my goal was to make the saddest record that’s ever been made. It was like, “Are you with me, man and boy?” A couple of people responded by looking at me like I was insane, that this was not a good ambition. [laughs]

The first person who totally understood where I was coming from was [noted session drummer] Steve Gadd, who said, “Yes! I get the point!” He understood that what I was trying to do was set something up that I could enjoy, because my enlightenment has come from true sadness. When I hear very sad records, I don’t get depressed. I feel an affinity and I feel relief. The first thing I get is a sense of, I am not alone. Thank God! I’m not alone.

GW How difficult was it to take previously private feelings about specific tragedies in your life and express them artistically?

CLAPTON It was difficult. For instance, the first draft of “My Father’s Eyes” came out sounding pretty petulant. The lyrics were too angry and childish. Where the art and craft came in was in being able to shape the anger into something people could empathize with. It wouldn’t work for me to just kind of sulk in the song, because it wouldn’t have communicated. Instead of feeling an affinity, people would’ve been repelled.

So I felt the way to make “My Father’s Eyes” into a sharing experience was to give it dignity, so that it would make it easy for someone else to identify with. That’s where the craft comes in. It’s learning how to use the power of your emotions, but figuring out how to present it in a way that makes it okay for someone else to take that onboard as being their message.

“My Father’s Eyes” was the hardest song to record on the album. It was one of the first songs, along with “Circus,” that I wrote after my son died. And it was the last one that I could let go of. In fact, I found “Circus” a lot easier to let go of. “My Father’s Eyes” went through five incarnations in the making of this record, and I would veto it each time and say each wasn’t good enough.

In retrospect, I question what I was up to, because at the time it was purely from an artistic point of view that I said, “it’s too fast,” or “it’s too jolly,” or “it’s too sad.” Now, I actually think subconsciously I just wasn’t ready to let it go, because it meant, on some level, letting go of my son.

GW Did writing and recording “My Father’s Eyes” and “Circus” help you cope with the loss of your child?

CLAPTON Music was very important. Talking about it with friends and seeking professional help were also crucial. Confronting it head-on was the best thing for me. It was very important that I be responsible, because there were others besides myself who needed comfort.

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