A Fake News Story from Bill

This is fake. Fakity fake fake.
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This is fake. Fakity fake fake.

They were just sucked into space. Travel time to the nearest starbase? How long can two people talk about nothing? Fate. It protects fools, little children, and ships named "Enterprise." The Federation's gone; the Borg is everywhere! Wouldn't that bring about chaos? Some days you get the bear, and some days the bear gets you. Maybe if we felt any human loss as keenly as we feel one of those close to us, human history would be far less bloody. Shields up! Rrrrred alert! A surprise party? Mr. Worf, I hate surprise parties. I would *never* do that to you. I'm afraid I still don't understand, sir. Worf, It's better than music. It's jazz. Besides, you look good in a dress. What's a knock-out like you doing in a computer-generated gin joint like this? I'll alert the crew. Not if I weaken first. Mr. Worf, you do remember how to fire phasers? Smooth as an android's bottom, eh, Data? For an android with no feelings, he sure managed to evoke them in others. Fear is the true enemy, the only enemy. Yesterday I did not know how to eat gagh. My oath is between Captain Kargan and myself. Your only concern is with how you obey my orders. Or do you prefer the rank of prisoner to that of lieutenant? I guess it's better to be lucky than good. And blowing into maximum warp speed, you appeared for an instant to be in two places at once. Now, how the hell do we defeat an enemy that knows us better than we know ourselves? Talk about going nowhere fast. I will obey your orders. I will serve this ship as First Officer. And in an attack against the Enterprise, I will die with this crew. But I will not break my oath of loyalty to Starfleet.