Kiss Co-Founder Paul Stanley Talks New Autobiography, 'Face the Music: A Life Exposed'

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I never saw writing a book. I think, just by nature of what they are, autobiographies are fatally flawed. Most of the time they tend to be grandiose in their perspective because someone is writing about themselves. I had no desire to do that. Honestly, I’ve looked at most autobiographies and thought they should have been on soft tissue paper on a roll and they would serve a better purpose. Just to write about real or imagined victories or successes or achievements isn’t what I wanted to do.

When I finally realized I could write a book that could be inspirational, that could show that everyone has obstacles and even the people we might look up to and aspire to be have been through their own trials and tribulations and can succeed, that was intriguing. The idea of writing a book my children could read to understand what I've been through to be where I am was what really made me do a 180-degree turn.

I didn’t want to write a book about Kiss. I wanted to write about my life. I wanted to write about somebody who faced a lot of adversity and obstacles and thought they knew how to resolve them and found out I wrong. I was fortunate enough to achieve the success I thought was the answer, and then I was fortunate enough to roll up my sleeves and figure out what it really took to find contentment and happiness.

I think that’s the beauty that can be passed along to other people. How other people perceive you doesn't affect how you perceive yourself. No matter what you achieve and what you hide from others, you can never hide it from yourself. True happiness and true contentment in life have to come internally. That may be a cliche, but it was certainly never more glaring than in my life. Once you realize you're still unhappy, you either start medicating yourself or start figuring out what’s next.

I think it is eye opening that if we choose to be great parents it’s because we move ourselves from the center of the universe and give it to the people we love around us. Having children can be incredibly healing, and it also can make us better people because we are supposed to lead by example. If we set a good example, we live better lives. I found a lot peace and a lot of joy in being a parent.

I think you have to remember I stepped outside of character to be in a rock band. I was a shy, insecure, unpopular kid. Innately when I saw the Beatles and even before that with Elvis Presley, I had this epiphany that that's what I wanted to do. I didn’t play guitar. I hadn’t written a song before in my life, but I think so often we lose sight of our potential because as kids we believe we are capable of everything and that gets beaten out of us by people who fail.

The same thing happened to me with Phantom of the Opera. I had seen it in London in 1988, and while I was watching it I had that same thought. I had never done musical theater. I had no idea what went into it. Ten years later I found myself auditioning for the part and getting it. So at that point I got thrown into the deep end of the pool. Don’t wish for something unless you are ready to get it. At that point my determination was to be great. Not to denigrate something, but to do it justice.

I always saw myself as a very solid guitar player, but we should never fool ourselves because we lose time and we can’t bring that back. If we do a hard assessment of ourselves we can better plot our course. I didn’t feel I could be the gunslinger guitar player I loved, but I also knew I could be a pretty consummate rhythm player, which is an art in itself. Some people see rhythm guitar as what a lead player does before he’s good enough to play lead. And there are others that are great lead players that are not able to play rhythm. They learned to run before they could walk.

With Bill I was blessed to become very close to him, and he was somebody in the formative years of the band was pivotal. We could have never made it without him. He is somebody whose importance can’t be overstated. The bitter sweetness of becoming good friends and having him come to art shows and concerts, even when he was very sick, was more than poignant. It was an incredible addition to my life.

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