Eric André’s advice for aspiring upright bass players: “Don’t play it. Run for the f**king hills”

Though he’s known around the world for his comedic chops, Eric André is also a pretty proficient bass guitar player. In fact, The Eric André Show host is a Berklee-educated musician, having enrolled at the prestigious college to specialize in upright bass.

His experiences and resume point to an individual who lives and breathes bass – someone who holds the upright instrument close to their heart, and whose guidance aspiring musicians would be keen to hear.

So, what is his advice for those thinking about picking up the upright bass? Erm, well, not what you’d expect.

“Don’t play it,” he bluntly told Interview Magazine in a recent interview. “Pick another instrument. Run for the fucking hills.”

Out of context, André's comments may seem like part of a bit. When taken in consideration with the rest of his Interview Magazine comments, though, his warning to aspiring bassists couldn't be more serious.

Indeed, André said studying bass at Berklee was the “biggest mistake of my life”, and that had he joined a band when he was a teenager, it “would’ve been a fucking nightmare decision”.

In fact, it was his three-year stint at Berklee College of Music that made him realize bass playing wasn’t for him, with the comedian saving some choice words for the world-famous music school.

“It’s music school, man,” he said. “Anybody can go. You can handcuff a chimpanzee to a saxophone and it’ll graduate with straight A’s.”

As for the bass specifically, André compared it to “doing taxes for hours”, and reflected, “It’s so annoying. You have to do your scales, do whole note exercises. 

“There’s this obnoxious, old, boring book that’s so tedious called New Method for the Double Bass by F. Simandl. It’s like the bible for upright bass and the bane of every bass player’s existence. It’s very, very tedious and boring.”

If you hadn’t worked it out already, playing bass isn’t exactly the most exciting activity according to André, who only elected to play bass instead of guitar because “guitar players are everywhere”.

“They’re like gnats,” the comedian said of guitarists. “Upright bass is more rare, and with scarcity comes more work. I also liked the way it looked. I don’t know, I was a teenager. I wasn’t really thinking.”

As for what he believes is key to being a successful bass player, André's comments are equally off-putting: “It helps if you’re obsessive, because practicing is very tedious. 

“The warm-ups would be two or three hours long before I got to play the stuff that I actually cared about,” he went on. “I was like, ‘I don’t like this shit that much. This is fucking boring as shit.’ And what’s the payoff? I play at a wedding where nobody knows me.”