The best guitar April Fools 2022: styrofoam Strandbergs, zero-watt Marshalls and literal Road Worn Stratocasters

Yes, it’s that time of the year again: April Fool’s Day – aka the time when we get to prove that guitar fans are easily among the funniest specimens on the planet. If you can remember last year’s hijinks, you know the comedy bar was set pretty darn high, thanks to some ingenious gaffs from the likes of Marshall, Guitar Center, LeftyFretz and Chibson USA.

We’re pleased to report, however, this year’s catalog of April Fools wise-cracks are of equal caliber. Among the mix is a styrofoam-layered Strandberg, an actually-pretty-decent Riff of the Day bog roll, an unexpected D’Addario rebrand and a road worn Fender Strat that takes the words “road” and “worn” way too seriously.

Cast your gaze below to discover this year’s best guitar-related April Fools gags.

GuitarGuitar Authentic Road Worn Fender Stratocaster 

Road Worn guitars have been some of Fender’s biggest-selling instruments ever, though despite carrying a subtly aged, worn-in vibe, none of the range’s offerings have ever been truly faithful to the literal meaning of “road” and “worn”.

Thankfully, UK retailer GuitarGuitar has sought to rectify this issue with its “authentic” Road Worn Strat, which literally looks like it’s been run over by a car. To be fair, we almost fell for it, but then we read about the motor wire pickups and the spiel about the “intensely calculated” relic’ing process, and promptly remembered what day it is.

Despite its triviality, it isn’t a horrendous-looking instrument. In fact, it’s caused such a stir among Strat fans that GuitarGuitar has conceded it “may have to start taking orders soon”. Alas, we can’t help feel that some of the specs need a serious redesign. Running over a guitar with a car can't be good for it.

Marshall JCM0

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes, and a Marshall April Fool’s Day hoax. This year, the guitar amp heavyweight has the JCM0 in store for us – an amp that, despite its total impracticality and implausibility, would definitely deliver on the brand’s promise for its “cleanest signal yet”.

Zero power, zero watts, zero valves, zero inputs and zero outputs? Talk about minimalism. Still, Marshall failed to rule out the possibility of there being an FX loop, so it could be an astute purchase if you’re looking for a companion for your air guitar.

Does it exceed the comedic precedent set by Marshall’s previous April Fools offerings? For our two cents, not quite, but that’s what happens when you become a victim of your own lofty success…

Guitar Center air guitar lessons

Who says you need a six-string to rock out, anyway? Certainly not Guitar Center, who are now offering lessons for those wishing to learn to play air guitar properly. The retailer already offers tuition for guitar, bass, drums, piano and more, but as Donny Gruendler, VP of Music Education says, “Why should instruction be limited to only those who own an instrument?” 

Students who enroll in air guitar tuition will learn all the moves – “the proper stance, the rock face, crowd engagement, swaying vs bouncing and the infamous windmill” – as well as the dangers associated with headbanging. 

“It’s all about having fun while staying safe,” Gruendler continues. “Too much headbanging can lead to neck cramps and headaches, and the performance will suffer.”

Instructors will share wisdom on the “fundamentals of imaginary rock”, with emphasis on the work of the Ramones, the Rolling Stones, AC/DC and Bon Jovi. And those wishing to take air guitar to an advanced level will also learn how to professionally lip sync. We knew that Marshall JCM0 would come in handy...

Strandberg – Kvarberg 

Have you ever played a guitar and thought, “I wish this instrument was 10 times thicker?” No, neither have we. Nevertheless, Strandberg’s customizable Kvarberg guitar lets you – if it were real, that is – choose up to 10 extra body layers for a legit thicker tone.

Unfortunately, most of the woods – maple, mahogany, rosewood, walnut, ebony and what have you – have already sold out, but don’t fret: there are still a number of premium materials left. Lucky for you, you still have a choice of styrofoam, concrete, plywood, MDF and even air freshener. Who knew they were such good alternatives?

To be fair, if this were real, Strandberg would definitely find a way to make this work. Hey, if it’s good enough for the Swedish axe artisans, it’s good enough for us. We draw the line at air freshener, though.

Ibanez BL620N bodyless guitar

Ibanez’s German branch sees Strandberg’s headless electric, and raises them a bodyless design. A spiritual successor to Ibanez’s own headless Quest series, the bonkers BL620N also does away with the much-hyped “neck-thru” design and instead embraces a bold “neck-only” one.

In all honesty, we can see this actually working. In fact, it looks like it could potentially be the traveling shredder’s best friend, what with its slimmed-down dimensions, DiMarzio humbuckers and Edge tremolo. Perhaps Ibanez Germany is on to something here…

Chibson USA joins The Darkness on tour 

It’s a well-known fact that, for everyone’s favorite guitar meme account Chibson USA, everyday is April Fool’s Day. With that in mind, the brand has decided to flip the script this year and instead do something “real”. Now, we definitely didn’t see this coming.

As such, Chibson CEO Jason USA and his team will be joining The Darkness on their North American Motorheart tour for 48 hours, during which time they will document their experiences through Chibson USA’s “social media empire”.

It’s all very serious, and something we really weren’t expecting. Nevertheless, we’ll eagerly tune into Two Days of Total Darkness, as the event is being called, and wait for normality to swiftly resume on Chibson USA’s accounts.

LeftyFretz Riff of the Day toilet paper

According to southpaw champion LeftyFretz, the average human will spend an entire year on the toilet across their lifetime. That’s a lot of time spent away from your guitar, if you think about it. 

To make sure this time doesn’t go fully to waste, LeftyFretz has hypothesized the actually-really-smart Riff of the Day toilet paper – an essential bathroom necessity that will teach you a handful of hits while you, erm, do your business. Iron Maiden’s The Pooper, Velvet Revolver’s Fall to Feces and a reprise of Andrew W.K.’s Party Hard – aptly renamed Farty Hard – are just some of the included tracks. Perfect your chops while you do your plops, as it were.

All jokes aside, we think this is a really good idea. It’s just a shame that, owing to the complexities of music tablature law, it will never see the light of day. Plus, bringing your guitar to the loo might not be the most hygienic. 

D'Addario changes its name to DaDairyoh

Apparently, “D’Addario” is a pretty hard word to pronounce for some people, and D’Addario itself is so fed up of our shortcomings that it’s taken things into its own hands and pushed through an impromptu, probably-one-day-only rebrand.

DaDairyoh, as it shall henceforth be known, has been renamed in an effort to “assist those who struggle to pronounce our name”. We’re all for the light-hearted passive-aggressive energy with this one, though, if we’re being honest, the new spelling does absolutely nothing to alleviate our pronunciation difficulties. It just looks like D’Addario is branching out into the dairy goods industry, if anything.

Electro-Harmonix Super Flerb

If you could make one improvement to the Electro-Harmonix Holy Grail, what would it be? If you answered “more Flerb”, you’re going to be both elated and immensely disappointed within the space of about five seconds. 

A spin-off to 2009’s Holy Grail Nano pedal, the EHX Super Flerb does exactly what it says on the tin – at least, it would if it were real – and provides unprecedented levels of Flerb. With only one master Flerb parameter adorning its chassis, we’re going to quietly file this into our “April Fools gags we wish were real” folder.