As Spinal Tap prepares to make their big screen comeback in Spinal Tap II: The End Continues, guitarist Nigel Tufnel has revealed how he’s been spending his time during the band’s hiatus.
As it turns out, he’s been running a cheese shop, one that has a rather interesting exchange policy that lets customers swap Gouda for Gibsons and cheddar for Charvels.
That’s right: guitars are a worthy currency in this definitely-very-real shop in Berwick-upon-Tweed, England, where you’ll find all manner of artisanal offerings. And his dealings work the other way round, too.
“I have guitars at my cheese shop,” a very-much-in-character Tufnel reveals in the new issue of Guitar World. “You can come in and trade guitars for cheese, or vice versa. If you bring in some cheese, I might trade you one of the guitars on the wall.”
More mathematically inclined readers may question the exchange rate. Take Gibson's new Les Paul '60s Double Trouble, for instance. The twin humbucker axe, which has a rather fetching Vintage Tobacco Burst finish, has a street price of $2,799.
Walmart, meanwhile, sells a very bougie 18-month aged Gouda wheel, weighing in at a whopping 12 pounds, for $379.99. You'd need 7.3 wheels to get close to a fair deal. Tufnel, though, doesn't see the issue.
“It's a barter system; that's what they used to call it in the old days,” he says. Tufnel’s keeping it old school.
“Let's say someone has a piece of cheese, and they think, ‘I don't really like this cheese, so I'm going to bring it in. And oh, look at that! There's a nice f-hole Gibson…’ They can do a swap or whatever.”
In that instance, trading a block of cheese with a bite out of it for a semi-hollow Gibson actually sounds like a great deal. It’s a miracle he’s still in business.
And what about the other guys in the band? Well, Spinal Tap II director and co-writer Rob Reiner has been speaking about that. One member has opened a museum of... err, glue, and another has written a symphony involving the devil and a poor choice of wig. Outside of cheese mongering, Tufnel has also done a Ritchie Blackmore-style pivot and can be found playing a penny whistle in a folk band.
Paul McCartney and Elton John are also set to star in the upcoming Spinal Tap sequel, and, going one better than they did 41 years ago, the band have had an amp custom-built to go way past 11.
Spinal Tap II: The End Continues releases in cinemas on September 12.
Read more about Tufnel’s hiatus escapades, alongside interviews with Jake E. Lee and much more, in the latest issue of Guitar World. Copies can be ordered from Magazines Direct.
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